Hello

teaboot:

shi-oni:

teaboot:

Okay so this is the first Easter I’ve been home since my parents broke up, and my mom went to sleep and forgot to hide the eggs we decorated, so this is my first time hiding them myself and I’m going to make this the most ridiculous Easter ever.

And because I’m going to forget where I hid them, here they are:

1. Behind a photo of great-grandfather Waldorf, on a mantle covered in old family photos

2. In a bowl with the exact same color and pattern on the kitchen table

2. In the toe of my brother’s shoe

3. In the bathroom medicine cabinet

4. Half-inside a medical dictionary on the top shelf of the bookcase

5. Between a row of vinyl records

6. Balanced on the wood frame behind a canvas painting

7. Under the fume hood over the stove, glued to the inner roof

8. In a random cup in the kitchen cabinet

9. Weighed down by a butter knife at the bottom of a sink full of dirty dishes

10. Inside the coffee machine

11. At the center of a ball of yarn

12. Buried under a potted orchid leaf

13. One (1) red herring in reasonably open sight in a corner

14. Shrink-wrapped in cellophane at the bottom of a jar of marinara sauce in the fridge

So, how’d it go?

They found 6 

(via teaboot)

shakespork:

teaboot:

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist

(via pastrypuppy)

fortressofself:

i am so about walking around museums and holding hands

(via l--o--t--r)

itchycoil:

Whenever you’re feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill

(via hydratedbitch)